Showing posts with label 1970s. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1970s. Show all posts

Sunday, August 30, 2026

Having a bad day? Compared to what? Ever gone sky diving?

This is a repost from May 31, 2010, that I chose to reshare today, on my birthday, August 30, 2026,

Mom was born on my birthday (long story, but funny). She passed in 2017. Love you mom.

I also have a pretty fascinating post out yesterday on my Substack about a very weird birthday I had, in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, some decades ago with my girlfriend at the time. 

On a roll here--here's another birthday I had in 2014 in Bellingham, where one of my kids was living at the time, in my old university town from where I graduated in 1984 (what a year to graduate in, huh?). 

So...

Hi! How has your weekend been? Your week? Your year? Not too stressful, I hope.

[Boy! Does THIS have a different meaning now than it did in 2010 when I first wrote this article!]

Also, an old 2011 blog I did on when I was a USAF Parachute Rigger.



Thun Field, Pierce County Airport,
(FAA identifier PLU) 
1960. 16915 103rd Ave Ct E, Puyallup, WA

Mine has been quite over the top. 

Some of my "customers" are very high stress and they find it easiest to put some of that stress directly upon my head. My costumers are IT related, vendor related, sometimes other departments or other states of our four-state plan. I've long been on a high-level front-line IT team for a "Cadillac" type BlueShield health insurance company (yeah, I know). Some place that stress rightfully so, some I've been told, not so much. Or more precisely, not at all.

Just how stressful HAS this week been? Or last week for that matter, with this one giving it a good run for the money? How so? How can I explain? How can I draw this out and yet keep talking to you till you realize this was just another attempt to talk about strange and unusual times from the past? How can I even keep your attention for that long? Let's see.

I'll just say, this week has been slightly more stressful than I remember feeling one day years ago (harp music), while plummeting to the ground from about 3,000 feet up, having just foolishly let go of a perfectly good airplane, on one fine summer day. It was about just then that I had noticed my parachute was kind of open above me but had not quite really opened as I had been lead to expect it would. It was just flapping in the wind like a streamer held out a car window.

First, I really should mention, this experience I'm about to relate, took place the day after my High School friend Rod's birthday at his house. He had just turned eighteen. I was still seventeen. I woke after a night of very strange things, my ex-girlfriend I had JUST broken up with and my soon to be new girlfriend both being there, doing a variety of inebriates I had done and had yet to do, drinking at a kegger and the next morning waking on the couch in the living room, to a hangover and the murderous sounds--of all things--of someone dumping and counting, jar after jar of coins there on the living room floor. It was Jimmy, Rod's older brother.

I said, "HEY, knock it OFF!" Jimmy said, "Sorry, but I have to."
I said, "Why?" and he said, "Because, I'm going sky diving." 
Then he said, "I'm done. Later." and he ran out the door.

Shortly after the door slammed shut, Rod came down the stairs from his bedroom, rather quickly, and asked, "Where'd Jimmy go?" I told him and he kind of lost it.
"WHAT! Oh Hell, he told me he'd take me! I'm going!" I asked him, "What? Hey! Then I'm going."

On the way there, Jimmy realized he didn't have enough money. So, Rod and I gave him what we had to cover him. Then when we got there, I said I wanted to jump too but I had given Jimmy all my money. 

But I was now broke or at least didn't have enough. 

Jimmy felt bad and between him and Rod, we got the $30 together for me and we now all hand enough. We could start our five and a half hours of training, still miserably hung over and at times, jumping from a platform five feet up from the dirt out front of the dive loft where they stored and packed the parachutes.

We were learning "PLFs", Parachute Landing Form, which didn't feel none too good while doing them. PLFs are what they teach you, so you don't do, FKHF form (Feet, Knees, Hands, Face). Doing them hungover and dehydrated, only made it much, much worse. But were were also trying to hide being hung over.

Once I found I didn't need parent's permission, as I wasn't eighteen (I thought I did it and my mother previously made it quite clear she wouldn't give her permission), I really had to do it. 

Finally, we were ready to go, our hours of training complete, we suited up, packed up and climbed into the plane with two others, the three of us and Jesse our Jumpmaster. And the pilot, of course.

I remember someone asking, "Do you know what position you are in?" As we were all scrunched up together in the cramped cargo space, on our knees, in order to get the most jumpers on a dive as possible. 

I said, "No" and they replied, "The preying position." Ha ha. Everyone laughed, Jesse grimaced at the newbie abuse. Very funny. Dive humor. First timer/veteran dive humor.

After our training was done, still on the ground, the three of us noticed Jesse walking by and we all noted how attractive she was. It was hard not to be attracted to her, even though she was a bit older than us. One of the jumpers walked by, noting our interest (the guy who made the "praying position" joke later in the plane as we took off). He joked a long with us about how attractive Jesse was. Then dropped the bomb.

"You know (he smiled), her husband packs your chutes." 

We all looked at each other and swallowed (being dehydrated, with some difficulty). No more looking at Jesse with anything but respect and uh, respect, from then onward. Not that we didn't have respect from the beginning. She knew her stuff.

Skipping forward...I drove out to go jump one day without Rod and Jimmy. Not sure why, maybe they were busy.

The cloud ceiling was low, too low. Newbies like me couldn't jump, you had to be certified for that low of a jump. While I was there, a twin blade, heavy Army Chinook helicopter landed. The crew had wanted to have lunch at the restaurant by the airstrip, a bit off from the loft. Thirteen jumpers with military ID got to step off out of it that day. It was quite a site and quite a story that day. But that for another time...

But the next time I went out to go jump, I got to go. 

And it was an event... 

I jumped, static line snapped, chute was not inflating above me, slowing my descent nominally. Making things worse, I could not actually see it. The risers connecting me to the canopy had crossed against the back of my neck so I could only stare at my chest, where lay my chin just above where the emergency chute sitting all nice and tightly secured to me, ready for instant deployment which I was now supposed to use; oh, and of course that hard ground 3,000 feet below, beyond the chute on my chest, with its great grouping of tiny, tiny fenced off meadowland that was currently floating gently up toward me at about maybe 100 miles an hour. 

I could see it all between my dangling feet. But that was then.

Back to Jimmy's, Rod's and my first jump... 

After you jump out of the plane, you're supposed to take proper form to keep from tumbling terribly out of control, like Jimmy had just done, almost potentially hanging himself on the fifteen-foot static line that pulls the chute out as you fall away from the plane, for those of us not yet certified for free fall. 

You took your first long class, did your first jump, then some more jumps and eventually become certified for free fall. 

In those days, you didn't attach yourself to a jumper. It just wasn't done. It was, "weird" to consider. But the newer way doesn't tend to lose new jumpers, so... 

The two veteran jumpers (including the jokester) went first. No problems, no issues. 

Jimmy looked pretty scared as he got situated in the open door. He looked up at me and the look on his face was one I'd never seen before, or after. But hey, he didn't hesitate, she hit his leg, said, "Go!" and he jumped. However, as he existed, Jesse nearly leaped out the door, freaking both Rod and I out. She hung there for a while staring at--something. It was freaking me out. What the hell was going on with Jimmy?!!

Finally, she noticeably relaxed and pulled herself back in. Looking back at us, saw the looks on our faces. We asked what happened. She hesitated, then leaned in toward us and, maybe saw it as a learning moment. 

"He did what we taught you not to do," Jesse said. "He didn't flare properly and started to tumble. I was afraid he'd wrap up in the static line. I've seen it before. If that happens you can get it around your foot, or worse, around your neck and get dragged. If it doesn't kill you, you're just being dragged behind the plane."

"Then what?" I asked. She said, "Then the jumpmaster, me, has to climb down and clear you for hopefully a good fall. But he cleared the line and his chute opened. He's fine. OK. So...next." She looked at Rod. He looked back at me with a big smile on his face, the worry he'd had for Jimmy now washed away.

Rod crawled over to the door. I always held Jimmy in high regard, maybe a bit intimidated by him being the older brother, but he was always the nicest guy. I had assumed that day that he'd bravely exit the plane, and Rod might be the one feeling a bit tenuous about jumping. 

I don't know why I thought that. I think it was more about Jimmy being one way, than Rod being another. But Rod got just into position, then turned once situated outside the plane, looked Jesse, then back at me with absolutely no fear on his face, just great gusto and a big smile. 

I'm not now sure if he did, but I remember him giving a big thumbs up and then focused on thee task at hand, outside the plane. Jesse said something to the pilot, he responded. She looked at Rod and nodded, he nodded back and finally hit him on the leg, and said "GO!"

And he was gone. Mind you, being almost last wore on one's nerve. Seeing what I had just seen, also had. I think had I gone first, or before Jimmy, I would (maybe) have been fine.

Jesse closely watched Rod release his grip in fearlessness, and in perfect form. She turned to me and gave me a thumbs up and a smile. All was good. Just the opposite of what I would have expected as Jimmy always seemed fearless to me. I felt a great relief, except that, I suddenly realized, I was next. 

That shifted the entire world for me in that moment.

For myself, it wouldn't normally be a problem. I'd hung off cliffs in the Cascade and Olympic Mountains, and all kinds of crazy stuff years before in Civil Air Patrol on search and rescue maneuvers. I had my SCUBA license. SCUBA takes a different kind of bravery. As does repelling down a cliffside. Or climbing up one. But I'd always been like a fish in water, as my mom liked to say. 

So, I climbed out of the plane, finding it harder than I'd expected to place my foot on that tiny, TINY footpeg, hanging outside the plane, my right leg just dangling there in the propwash of the plane at a slow 100MPH, and looking down through 3,000 feet of--nothingness. 
Then Jesse our jumpmaster hit my leg and said, "GO!" Good grief.

So, of course, bravely I did what all courageous types did. Right? I hesitated, then--looked back up at her from what I found an awkward and uncomfortable position and said bravely, "WHAT!?" It was the only thing I could think of to distract and delay from my position.

She looked at me--incredulous. But fully understanding what stage of fear I was involved with at that moment. Mind you, every second of delay puts a jumper either closer to, or farther away from the LZ (landing zone), and that 10' circle of pea gravel that is the target everyone wants to land on. And few do.

Also, my delay changing the calculus for where I will land, was also changing her own. Something not quite on my mind at that time.

"GO!" she said and knowingly hit me again on the back of my thigh. I pulled my eyes from hers and looked forward, seeing my hands gripping the strut and the spinning propeller further forward, and thought, "I am NOT losing that 30 bucks because I rode the plane back down." That seemed to move me more than anything else. Then I wondered how to trick myself to do what I wanted. I thought, "I only need to relax one of my fingers and then the next..." That didn't work.

Then I thought, just go limp, stop gripping. Make your hands go limp and--it happened.

The plane leaped forward, out of my grasp as my grip failed and I realized I had let go and the plane was gone. 

Swimming back toward the plane, it quickly didn't appear to be working. I looked up for what I was trying to achieve (the plane) and realized was already out of my site. That subsumed my thoughts. Where the hell did the plane go? Which was when I realized that the static line had snapped and the chute was pulled out. 

However....

It was all quite hard to miss, the culmination of all that drama.

As I fell away form the plane, I remember, Count. "One thousand one. One thousand two. One... oh screw it!" My eyes were shut tight. I hoped for an opening. I heard the snap, an odd sound of the canopy deploying in a stream of nylon and then, the chute inflating and a slowing down. I opened my eyes. I looed up at a beautiful fully inflated canopy, and smiled. 

Then I looked below me and realized I was like 3,000 feet in the air dangling my feet. It was terrifying. But nothing bad happened. I breathed. After a minute I realized the absolute silence. The beauty all around me. I relaxed and enjoyed the ride that seemed to take forever. I noticed the tiny fenced areas of the farmland. I feared being lost. How the hell would I know which to aim for?

As I descended, I was eventually able to pick out the pea gravel LZ and people and I was headed right for it. The groundmaster was moving his arms, guiding me in. I manipulated my toggle left and right I could clearly see no one had landed in the LZ but off to the side. Except for me.

Which actually went quite smoothly and I actually hit the ten foot wide target of pea gravel. I was exhilarated. After all, I was the only one that jump who hit the target. The other more experienced jumpers already on the ground had all missed. And Jimmy and Rod, of course. Which happens, as the jumpmaster in the plane can only zero in on one or a few jumpers to hit the target as the plane is continuing on in a line at about 100 miles per hour. The new "square" chutes make this less an issue now a days.

When I realized the ground was coming up faster than I expected hitting pea gravel is a definite and softer benefit. As I found out on my second jump. The groundmaster nodded and said, "Gather your chute." So I did. But before I got my harness off, I knelt down and kissed the ground. I thought it funny, but also kind of meant it. I was glad to be on the ground. I looked over at the groundmaster who had a very disgusted look on his fast as he turned and walked back to guide our Jumpmaster Jesse down. 

I got my harness off and--first jump completed. I walked over to Rod and Jimmy and needless to see, we were all pretty pumped up and pleased with ourselves. No one felt our hangovers. That came after the adrenalin wore off.

But getting back to that second jump...

Once out of the plane, this time I was proud of myself that I counted the full 6 count. Then tried to look up to assure myself the canopy I heard deploy, was fully inflated and function. But something wasn't letting me look up. I couldn't move my head upward. That was weird.

What I missed most seeing was what that chute above my head was doing because. And frankly, I didn't seem to be slowing down. Count to six, look up, check the chute opened, make a decision. 

You either relax and enjoy the ride down. Or do some emergency stuff like cut away from the failed chute, releasing the connectors to the risers connected between the harness and the canopy, then just pop the emergency chute by pulling the ripcord handle on the canvass wrapped bump of nylon on your chest.

I began to consider feeling stressed out, but I had been told you only have about ten seconds to make a decision on what to do in a situation like that and at that altitude. So I really didn't have the time to stress out. Or be afraid. Which I thought I would save for either just before I impacted the ground, or just after I landed and somehow, continued living against all odds. 

Which, actually, I was kind of counting on.

Also, my hangover seemed to magically dissolve away. I guess adrenalin does that.

I remember thinking I needed to break away, pop the emergency chute; but then a thought broke into my consciousness. The realization that if I pop the chute, "I don't have $2.50 for an emergency chute repack." That would be embarrassing. So, I thought...I bet I could fix this. It's just twisted. If I could just get this one to work, the deployed one, I mean, it's just sitting there, out, but not inflated, then; no sense in being embarrassed. And that would really suck." 

Right. OK, then.

I did the obvious thing, what anyone might do. Right? No?

I tried to pull apart the risers so I could snap my head back. It was then I realized just how much strength it took to keep the risers apart for more than a second or two as they were supporting all my weight. It was too much. I had to let them snap back into place. My head still down. Pinned down, taking my agency from me, out of my control. I refused to let that defeat me and I was rapidly running out of time. 

At which point, I put all my strength into it and pulled them apart enough I could slip my helmeted head back and it went back further than I'd expected and I had to let the risers go. They snapped into place and now I found I was now staring straight up at the streaming tube-like, "cigarette roll" (as they call those malfunctions); a funny looking arrangement of a Hell of a lot of 1.1 rip-stop nylon NOT inflating and there, far beyond that, a truly beautiful, silent, blue sky.

Technically, this type of "function" as they liked to call them (I discovered a few years later with PJs when I was a parachute rigger in the USAF), is known as a "compression twist", but at the time, I really wasn't caring what the correct technical term for it was. 

Apparently, it can happen when you twist the chute as you put it into the pack during repack, so when it extracts it spirals and compresses, holding itself in a tube shape, so it can't inflate as air has no entryway into the canopy.

I noticed that it was really quite quiet falling like that through the sky. 

Except for this one noise, and what was that anyhow as it was getting quickly getting louder as I fell? I thought about it for a moment (just part of a second, don't worry) and realized finally that it was me, passing through the air, at drag decreased terminal velocity only 100 miles an hour (go ahead, stick your head out the window of your car at 100 mph some time, and you'll see what I mean). Full termina velocity is around 120MPH, but the tube above me was causing drag, slowing me down a bit.

There were some other minor sounds from material flapping, or loose harness webbing, but other than that, just the screaming of the air shooting past my ears that seemed to take up the majority of my attention. 

Funny how time slows as you're about to die...

At about that point, head was stuck back, the risers were holding my helmet back, I realized that I could have it either way, head forward and down or back looking up, but not easily transition between the two extremes. I hadn't expected that. 

So, I figured, well? I might as well try to fix it. I may have no choice at this point. Besides, I didn't really want to watch my knees being shoved up into my hips should it come to that. Wait, no, I wouldn't be able to see that, would I, not in this position.

I figured I'd feel it either way though. No sense in evoking sensory overload, ya know?

It was at that moment that I thought to put into play all my brilliance and act accordingly. So, I did the only thing I could think to do, what I thought in the first place, and pulled the risers apart as wide as I could with all my strength for as long as I could and hope that worked. Seemed like it should.

So the chute above me could then open at the bottom to inflate and I could just sit there happily and relaxed and watch the show of a colorful spectacle of yards of nylon spinning rapidly around up above me, so that it could open to its full and glorious (likely a) 32-foot modified round, TU-slotted flat circular, standard static-line gear of the day). I was surprised as I pulled them apart, that I was actually able to hold them far apart after a certain distance when it got easier, and again, I think some of it was the adrenalin. 

And that was when the amazing happened. But shouldn't have been the surprising. A parachute nickname is "air anchor." Should I have expected the chute to spin? Or... 

I wasn't considering a small, overlooked item. That being physics. You see, when you have above you an "air anchor" and try to move it against that of say 180 pounds of dead weight plus gear, well, the larger "air anchor" wins every time and the dead weight (yes, me) spins instead.

At which point I began to spin uncontrollably as the inflating parachute above instead got to watch my spectacle with feet flying out from centrifugal force as I did a strange little meat puppet twirl.

Unbeknownst to me, not so far below on the ground, down there beneath me at the LZ, the other jumpers, and our groundmaster--were watching in shared fascination and sheer horror. But I wasn't thinking of them. I was busy on my carnival ride.

"Why in the Hell isn't he cutting away and deploying his reserve!" The groundmaster wondered. He who controls guiding you in and the ground LZ, as Jesse handled the issues in the planet leading up to the jump.

Fascinated, they watched the display of me spinning, after having not broken away from the malfunctioning main chute sooner and using the reserve chute; and in horror at having lived moments that felt like hours to the more experienced jumpers as they watched the far more inexperienced sky diver (my esteemed self) not breaking away from the "compression twist" (something that has killed many sky divers and especially first-time parachutists for nearly a hundred years or more).

The groundmaster saw EVERYTHING and was not pleased with me. Something he made painfully clear once it was understood I was good and back on the ground, alive, mostly.

I had a grand finale as I snapped to and stopped spinning quite suddenly. I was a little dizzy and I had to let my eyes catch up to my head and allow my vision to focus again, but I was very happy to note that I no longer heard any high speed winds, and that above me (yes, I could now look up quite easily through the now uncrossed risers) there was finally a beautiful open and fully inflated canopy doing what it was meant to do: slow descent to a reasonable and much more fun speed.

I was now able to enjoy a quiet, and incredible view of a descent, with a massive panorama of the entire region below me with Mt Rainier in the distance. It seemed to last forever, until I got within about 40-50 feet of the ground at which point, things seemed to increase in speed and the culmination of the jump. That being, the landing.

Remember, on my first jump I was the only one who hit the pea gravel. So of course, I wanted to do it again. I was headed right for it. The groundmaster was guiding me not in the direction I wanted so I did what I wanted. I could see he was gesticulating frantically but I was concentrating on my pulling the risers and I overshot the pea gravel, something he knew clearly, I was going to do. 

I pulled hard on one riser and I thought I could spiral down back to the target gravel. But I kept going forward too much and as I spun around a wind caught the chute and spun me harder. Think bucket of water on a rope you spin around and centrifugal force keeps the water in the bucket.

But essentially what it meant for me was that I was gaining momentum in that spin at the end of those ropes until the road running through the meadow was rising to meet me far to fast. I slammed into it, but at an angle. My combat boot encased feet hit first, as they hit the ground the split down the sides, my body hit at such an angle there was no good way to cushion my slamming into the rocks and dirt of that road. 

After creaming into the road, I lost my happy feeling pretty quickly as the pain spread throughout me from my feet to my upper body. I just lied there in pain. The groundmaster ran over to me and asked if I was OK. Embarrassed I said yes, but do something about this chute! He said just pop a riser. I did and the chute deflated. I asked if he could help get my helmet off and he did. I just lied there in the dirt feeling like an idiot. A painful one at that. 

He asked if I was OK. I said, yes. He asked if I I was sure. I just yes, I'm fine, it hurts, but I'm OK, just let me lie here for a while. He asked again, are you sure you're OK? I looked at him oddly and said, Yes, why? He pointed at my boots. I looked down and say the leather had split down the sides. I was surprised but I just said, Yeah I don't know what that's about but I'm good.

He nodded and said, "OK, but when you're ready, I want to talk to you." I just nodded and put my head back in the dirt, staring at the sky as he walked away.

After about fifteen minutes, I got up, humiliated and walked over to the groundmaster wherein he "tore me a new one," and made it clear as you approach the LZ the groundmaster is in control and you DO whatever he indicates. He asked if I knew there was a draft running along that road. I said no. He said that's why you got slammed into the ground. I said I just wanted to turn and hit the pea gravel. He said you never had a chance at that, I was giving you your best path down. ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GROUNDMASTER! Got it!?"

Yeah, I got it. I also didn't walk right for a week or so after that. I didn't need a better reminder.

Then he asked what I was thinking in not breaking away from a defective deployment. I said I thought I could fix it. He made it clear, you don't fix it you break away. Safety first. I wanted to explain to him I wasn't just some 17 year old who didn't know anything but I'd been in a lot of dangerous situation and trained to fix problems in real time. I had first responder first aid training. All kinds of things like that but--thought it best to bite my tongue and just, nod yes.

Also, I said, I didn't have $2.50 for an emergency chute repack. 

That stunned everyone within hearing range. Jesse had landed a few minutes before and was nearby packing up her chute and leaned over to me and said don't do that again. OK? She made it clear, that rather than go through what they just witnessed, with a new jumper (again, no tandem jumps back then), they would all have been happy to pitch in to pay the cost of a repack for the emergency chute. I was humbled looking around and everyone was nodding in agreement. 

Once again, Life was good.

Thinking back on it, that wasn't as stressful as this past week has been for me; that week that I would one time experienced, some several decades later.

No matter how intense things feel right now? You can almost always count on them getting more intense later.

Makes you think.

You know?

Oh. And here's the funny thing. 

I looked up who Jesse was and is today and found her! She's a world-class record-breaking sky diver who at 77 made her 23 when I knew her:

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Shooting in a Ghost: Lincoln High's Rifle Team and the Old Aquarium at Point Defiance

I had been in that building before.

As a kid, I'd gone to the old Point Defiance Aquarium on the waterfront more than once, the one down near the water, below the bluffs. I remember the fish, the glass, the particular quiet of that kind of place. Puget Sound creatures behind thick panes, and kids pressing their faces in to get closer. There was a small amusement park next to it. I remember that fondly, too.

1970-71 Lincoln High School Rifle Team Yearbook page - Tacoma, WA. Some members missing.

In the fall of 1970, as a Lincoln High sophomore, I was driven to Point Defiance for my first rifle team practice. We pulled up above the boat house and I knew this building. It was the aquarium. But no, someone said, it's not. 

We walked into what was by then just one long bare room with targets at the far end. Nothing on the walls. No tanks, no glass, no trace of what it had been. Just wood and distance and the smell of a place that had been repurposed and forgotten. No trace of what it had been. I stood there a little stunned. Things change.

Photo at least a few years before I was visiting in 1960 or shooting there in the early 1970s.

Point Defiance Park was established in 1888 when President Grover Cleveland authorized the federal military reserve to be used as a public park. As early as 1895, the Park Board leased space for a boat stand, restaurant and float at Point Defiance Park to J. Olson for $5 a month. The first permanent boathouse was built in 1903 by Edwin Ferris. Ferris agreed to pay for the construction of the boathouse if he could run it for ten years, at which time he would turn the building over to the Park Board for their use. Ferris’s beautiful octagonal boathouse/pavilion was an immediate success. - Parks Tacoma

The aquarium existed only in my memory now, not in the room itself, now turned into a firing range. We were going to be shooting in a ghost held only in my mind. I seemed to be the only one on the team who knew what it had once been. A journey into the deep of Puget Sound. Apparently, the aquarium burned down in 1974 and the boathouse ten years later in 1984.

I'd be curious who owned the building as Tacoma had a series of criminal arsons back in those days. I wrote about some of it in my award-winning screenplay, The Teenage Bodyguard, set in 1974. It details an attempted arson at the Top of the Ocean restaurant along the waterfront on Ruston Way, a few miles southeast of there. A local crime family had burned down or tried to burn down more than a few buildings in those days for fun and profit.


Lincoln's rifle team was not a glamour operation. We shot .22 caliber rifles donated by the Army — heavy, worn, some broken. The 1972 yearbook records them diplomatically as "worn out or broken." I struggled with the bulk and weight of those old surplus rifles from the start, and never quite made peace with the aperture sights either. I was not, I'll tell you honestly, a natural range shooter. Equipment that fits you matters, and nothing about those rifles fit me particularly well.

Our coach was Mr. Williams, ex-Army turned teacher, a genuinely humane man with great stories and a clear understanding of what his kids were working with and working against. When I complained about the rifles he didn't apologize for them. He just said: it's what you have, be proud and make the best of it. That was Mr. Williams. He knew something about making do.

Forty rounds counted toward your score, ten points each, four hundred possible. Hit three hundred sixty or better and you earned a varsity letter. Any member could earn one regardless of sex, which in 1971 wasn't nothing — we had girls on the team and they belonged there.

Every Monday afternoon the old aquarium became a gathering point for Tacoma's high school rifle league. Stadium, Curtis, Wilson, Mount Tahoma, and Lincoln all competed there, five city schools converging on one repurposed waterfront building with their rifles and whatever else they could get their hands on. One team, a school who was financially better off, had match competition pieces and won quite a bit more often. It was hard not to notice that fact.

We were the only school though with Army surplus rifles and our coach told me, "It's what we have, don't worry about those other schools, be proud of them, and shoot well." It was a real league, with real competition, and virtually none of it exists in any archive anywhere. The yearbooks are almost the only evidence it happened at all.

It is worth noting that today the idea of a Tacoma public high school rifle league — five city schools competing weekly, kids bused to a park facility with Army surplus weapons, earning varsity letters for marksmanship — would be unthinkable.

Not because the kids were dangerous, they weren't, we weren't, or because the sport wasn't legitimate, it was. Simply because the world changed. Hunter's safety courses still exist, and competitive shooting still exists, but the casual integration of rifle sport into public high school athletics, the same way you'd letter in swimming or track, belongs to a specific window of American life that closed quietly sometime after we did.

I've mentioned that from time to time in recent years when in a group and the topic came up and I have gotten horrified looks or comments like, 'Well, that wasn't a good idea." But WWII wasn't that far away back then. Certainly not for those who taught us.

I had a 20 gauge single shot shotgun and a British .303 bolt action WWII surplus rifle on a rifle rack in my bedroom in junior high. My older brother's as he traveled America on his motorcycle in the late 1960s. Yes, I had ammo. 

The .303 British bolt action on that rack had been my older brother's, given to him at fifteen. Later, when I was fifteen, he passed it to me — he didn't have a son and didn't know yet that he would. It was a serious weapon. The British used that caliber to hunt elephants in Africa. It was not a toy, and we never treated it as one. 

I eventually gave it to my own son when he turned fifteen. I did keep the bolt however, until he moved out and was legally old enough to own it. My brother died this year. I think about that rifle and what it carried with it — not just the weight of the thing, but the line of it, three generations each receiving it at the same age, each understanding what it meant to be trusted with something that demanded respect.

Mr. Williams was ex-Army. Mr. Eakes ran hunter's safety courses. For them, teaching young people to handle weapons carefully and compete honorably was simply good citizenship. None of us considered harming anyone, and none of us did. The newspapers from that era are proof enough of that. Compare those to the newspapers today and draw your own conclusions.


The best shooters on our team were the Hondle brother twins and the Eakes brothers. I already knew all of them from a private junior high rifle team coached by the Eakes boys' father, Mr. Eakes. They were older than me and they were crack shots, the lot of them — but the Hondles carried it differently than the Eakes did. The Eakes brothers were good but weren't on the high school team. They'd had enough of it with their dad, growing up, helping him as I had, teach hunter's safety courses a year or two previous.

The Hondles knew they were good. When you're a younger kid wearing a T badge around guys like that, you feel it without anyone having to say a word.

The T badge was my first year. Gold shield, black border, a T for Tyro — meaning beginner, meaning novice, meaning you're not there yet. In competitive shooting it's a legitimate classification for a first-year competitor. In that company it felt like wearing my inexperience as an announcement. Nobody said anything about it. That was almost worse.


My senior year I was working nights at the Auto-View Drive-In, where my stepfather was assistant manager for his night job. I missed matches. I showed up when I could, which was not always, and I watched my entire high school social life happen on the other side of the snack bar counter — friends and classmates coming in on weekend nights while I was working, every holiday, every Friday. I knew I was missing things that don't come back.

Mr. Williams saw the whole picture. At the end of my senior year he gave me a full varsity letter — a gold L, the real thing. I always figured it was for being on the team three years and holding down a night job through high school, both of which he understood and respected. He was that kind of man.

I never got the letterman's jacket. My parents couldn't afford it and neither could I on snack bar wages. So the letter sat. I still have the T badge somewhere. I'm not sure I was ever as dismissive of it as I felt at the time.


One of the faces in the 1973 team photo is my best friend Dave Henderson. Dave wanted to be on the team. So, I told him to get over for that day. He never fired a round that season. But he is in the Lincoln yearbook as a rifleman, which still makes me smile fifty plus years later.


The whole waterfront Pavilion complex at Point Defiance burned in 1984. The old aquarium building went with it — the shooting range, the ghost, all of it. Three lives for one building: aquarium, rifle range, ash. Almost none of it is documented anywhere. The yearbook pages are about the only hard evidence the league and that range existed at all.

I earned a letter in that building, for a jacket I never owned, shooting rifles I never fit, in a room I'd first entered as a child looking at fish.

I think about that sometimes.

Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!



JZ Murdock is a retired Senior Technical Writer/IT administrator, and an active award-winning author/ filmmaker, documentarian, and writer based in Bremerton, Washington. 

He publishes commentary on the state of things at murdockinations.com and on his creative works over at Substack. He also posts on Slasher.com on the horror genre.

If this work means something to you, you can support it at Ko-fi. Tips are always welcome and go directly toward keeping independent documentary work possible.


Monday, May 18, 2026

The Kid Who Was Ready

Some people are shaped by a single defining moment. Others are shaped by a decade of unlikely preparation, each experience stacking quietly on the last until one day something extraordinary happens and they discover they were ready for it all along.

"Gordie" was that kind of kid.

He was born into an east coast family -- his mother a Brooklyn girl -- and spent his early years moving. There was a stretch in Spain that seemed like it might become permanent, until it wasn't. Family tensions built to an explosive final confrontation, and his grandfather threw his father out of the country. 

The now family of three moved to Philadelphia, back near relatives, trying to find solid ground. Eventually his mother remarried and the new configuration -- mother, stepfather, Gordie, his sister, and a new little brother -- who made their way back, across the country to Tacoma, Washington, to where the oldest brother, from another father, lived with his dad.

They moved around a lot before finally settling. Home, when it existed, was complicated -- a difficult stepfather, a mother doing her best, a household held together by obligation more than ease. That arrangement lasted until he graduated high school and eventually went into the Air Force. But long before that, home was somewhere to leave. 

So he left it, early and often, and in doing so stumbled into one of the most unusual informal educations a young American could receive in that era. Asking his mother decades later why she allowed him to always be taking lessons of some sort of another, she smiled and said, "I knew I had to tire you out every day, so you'd go to sleep at night. You were like that since birth. Always wanting to see the next new thing."

His sensei Steve Armstrong, ran one of the Pacific Northwest's premier karate dojos...in a style called, Isshinryu.

Sensei Armstrong ran one of the Pacific Northwest's premier karate dojos, a Marine veteran who had studied directly under the founder of Isshin-Ryu on Okinawa, eventually becoming his number two student. This wasn't a strip mall operation. 

This was the real thing, brought back from postwar Japan by men who understood it as a discipline and a philosophy, not a hobby. Gordie trained there from age twelve, rode the city bus in his gi, competed in tournaments alongside future legends of American martial arts, at least one who made the cover of Black Belt magazine, and on one occasion performed kata in a boxing ring at a main event in front of a packed international tournament arena.

He joined the Civil Air Patrol, eventually rising to cadet flight commander. He trained in search and rescue. He earned a ham radio license, a radio telegraph license. He learned first responder first aid. He went on mountain missions, rappelled cliff faces, and on one search and rescue operation found a downed aircraft and its frozen passengers -- an experience that stayed with him. He spent only a single year in a Catholic school in eighth grade where the class was taught Evelyn Wood Reading Dynamics and he graduated that reading at ten thousand words per minute. With a tested eighty percent level of comprehension.

He shot competitively, three years on the high school rifle team, earning his varsity letter. He got his SCUBA license in tenth grade. He went skydiving the morning after a birthday party, badly hungover, with his best friend and his older brother. On his second jump alone without his friends, he experienced a parachute malfunction at three thousand feet, fixed it himself rather than deploy his reserve -- because he didn't have the two dollars and fifty cents to pay for the repack, and landed hard, but safe. 

He managed the snack bar at a drive-in theater through high school. Once graduated, he got a job downtown Tacoma and was paying his own rent from the age of seventeen, driving himself to work in his 1967 red Camaro convertible.

By that age, Gordie had accumulated a set of capabilities that no institution had deliberately assembled in him. They had simply accrued, experience by experience, in the life of a kid who preferred being useful to being comfortable.

None of it was preparation for what happened in May of 1974. And all of it was.

A phone call from a friend. A woman who needed a ride. A newspaper clipping about a murder. A question that would have sent most teenagers running:

Do you have a gun?

Unbelievably, as it happened -- he did. A Ruger Blackhawk 357cal. magnum.

Would you stay with me for the week -- until I can get out of town?

What followed was one week in the life of a seventeen-year-old who found himself between a witness to an organized crime murder and the mafia crime family who wanted her silenced, in a city where the Sheriff, and others, were on the payroll and the police couldn't be trusted.

A mafia crime ring so pervasive and insidious -- its reach extending into local, county, and perhaps even state government -- that when the federal government finally moved in, aided by the very Sheriff's office deputies who had refused to be bought, the trial had to be moved to California. 

The case gathered newspaper headlines across the entire country for months. The corruption ran so deep that Pierce County voters eventually approved a new county charter abolishing the governmental structure that had made it all possible.

He wasn't a hero. He was just ready.

And nobody knew about his story -- for decades.

Until now --

Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!



JZ Murdock is a retired Senior Technical Writer/IT administrator, and an active award-winning author/ filmmaker, documentarian, and writer based in Bremerton, Washington. 

He publishes commentary on the state of things at murdockinations.com and on his creative works over at Substack. He also posts on Slasher.com on the horror genre.

If this work means something to you, you can support it at Ko-fi. Tips are always welcome and go directly toward keeping independent documentary work possible.


Monday, May 11, 2026

The Last Witness: A True Crime Story Hollywood Hasn't Made Yet

While this movie has yet to be made, one screenplay coverage reviewer asked the obvious question. "Why hasn't this been on a screen somewhere, yet?"

In 1974, a 17-year-old girl was running from the Carbone crime family in Tacoma, Washington. She had witnessed something she refused to admit even to herself. Everyone around her who knew too much was turning up dead, overdosed, or face-down in Spanaway Lake. She needed one week, a place to sleep, and someone who wouldn't sell her out.

She chose a 17-year-old kid she had known for less than an hour.

That kid is still alive. Most of the other major players in this story are not.

As for the screenplay with over a dozen international awards, new coverage (that is a professional level review of a screenplay) from The Black List indicates it could easily be a $30-50 million prestige studio production.

I'd long thought maybe a $3-5 million indie production. Though UK producer/director Danny Baker told me this past winter it could easily be an FX type prestige series. So, I drew up a treatment for that and...he loved it. But he's busy on other projects at this time and as usual, getting the money or studio on board is the issue at hand.

The Black List coverage from May 2026:

There is a compelling 1970s coming-of-age action thriller here, and it's clear the writer has strong instincts for period detail, character-forward storytelling, and cinematically rich set piece design that compete with many professionals working today. Their ability to ground larger-than-life action within a relatable, empathetic teenage POV is especially exciting, and they should feel proud of the work thus far. Even so, there are notable areas that may benefit from significant rewrites.

As they consider this development, they may find inspiration in similar voices such as Elijah Bynum or Scott Frank. In terms of selling this, the period setting and ambitious set pieces likely push the budget into the $30-50M range, putting it best with traditional studios or streamers like Netflix or Apple, both of which have appetite for prestige action drama. As these buyers are highly talent-driven, a strong next step may be to refine the draft and tee up a producer who can help bring in a marketable filmmaker and cast.

It's a story and screenplay that has had the interest of a UK producer some years ago, a well-known Hollywood producer, 3 directors and now a new UK working film industry professional. And yet, it's still unproduced. Such is the filmmaking business. But I'm not giving up. What is stopping it from being produced? It takes the right people, the right vision. And to date, everyone seems to love it but has their own vision.

I have mine. The right vision for it. And mine will win out. Or it won't.

That vision is that this is not a coming-of-age story, though there are elements of that. It is not a "teen romp". This is not your average teen. His motivations were not a normal teen's. He was also no super teen, either. He simply had an unusual degree of training in all the right things required for this kind of a situation.

The fact that he came together with this woman, at that time in that situation, is truly remarkable. Story worthy. Movie worthy. Series worthy. And it really happened.

I just hope I can get it produced before the protagonist, who is likely the only remaining participant from this story still alive, gets to see it on screen.

Before he's no longer here.

What's important here is, we still have someone who was there, who saw it all, who was central to the entire bizarre story in a situation that eventually went viral as it involved the city, county, and state levels of government, and so acquired national attention. It was in the newspapers for months on end. That would be the trial of the crime family, that had to be moved from Tacoma to California to protect the trail from being corrupted.

Yet now, no one knows about all this.

The Enterprise

Pierce County in the early 1970s was, in the words of former Tacoma Mayor Bill Barma, wide open. Joint Base Lewis-McChord, then split between Fort Lewis and McCord Field, filled the county with young military men and the kind of cash economy that organized crime has always known how to exploit. John Joseph Carbone knew exactly what he had.

His operation ran topless bars, card rooms, prostitution, and heroin across a network of tavern fronts throughout the county. When competition appeared, it was firebombed, sometimes with employees still inside. When witnesses emerged, they disappeared. A dancer subpoenaed before a grand jury was found dead of an apparent overdose. A bouncer who had been called to testify told his family he needed to get out. He reappeared face-down in Spanaway Lake.

When liquor control agent Mel Journey started making connections that other investigators weren't making, two gunmen approached him in his driveway and shot him four times in the chest while his family watched from the window. He survived on multiple blood transfusions, contracting Hepatitis C in the process. The enterprise kept operating.

The reason it kept operating was Pierce County Sheriff George Janovic, who accepted payments from Carbone's intermediaries, tipped off Carbone's operations before raids, and directed deputies to harass competing nightclub owners. Mayor Barma recalled Janovic being consumed not with the crime wave rocking his county but with building a campaign war chest large enough to discourage a rival from running against him. Barma attended one of Janovic's fundraisers. Carbone was there.

By November 1978, after a 13-month FBI and ATF undercover operation, 15 people were arrested including the sheriff. Carbone was convicted on 14 counts including racketeering and sentenced to a hundred years. He served 15. Janovic got 12 years, served 6. The trial had to be moved to San Francisco because there was no impartial jury to be found in Pierce County.

This is documented history. Court records. Sentences. Federal convictions.

And sitting in the middle of it, for one week in 1974, was a girl named Sara.

The Witness

In June 2020, the true crime podcast Scene of the Crime, hosted by former KIRO Radio reporters Carolyn Ossorio and Kim Shepard, devoted an episode to the Carbone enterprise. The episode, titled "Enterprise," featured Bill Barma and drew on documented records of the FBI investigation and the Janovic conviction.

It also featured an interview with the man who protected Sara that week in 1974.

He described a frenzied call from a friend, a nervous woman in her late twenties who climbed into his car and handed him a News Tribune article about the murder of a bouncer named Danny at the Tiki nightclub in Lakewood. She told him she hadn't seen it. He believed she had. She asked if he had a gun. She asked if he would stay with her for a week until she could get out of town.

He said yes.

What the podcast captured is the shape of the story. What it couldn't fully convey is the character of the man who said yes, or why Sara chose him specifically, or what happened to her after she left. Those answers are in the screenplay.

Carolyn Ossorio has since gone on to produce The Shadow Girls, a deeply reported podcast on the Green River Killer's victims, now continuing under the title Criminal Mischief. She's worth following. The Carbone episode remains one of the best documented accounts of the enterprise available in audio form.

The Screenplay

The Teenage Bodyguard is a feature screenplay based on these documented events. It opens with Danny McCormick's murder. It carries the historical record through title cards and court documentation. It traces Sara's flight through the Carbone network's reach, the Seattle connection through the Colacurcio organization, and the week one young man spent keeping her alive on instinct, karate, a Civil Air Patrol background, and a .357 he knew how to use.

The screenplay has won 17 international film and screenplay contests across three continents, including:

Best Feature Script, Bab Al Bahrain International Film Festival (Bahrain, 2024); Best Drama Screenplay, Best Hollywood Day Short FF (Winter 2025); Outstanding Achievement Award, Brandenburg International Film Festival (Germany, 2023); Best Screenplay, David Film Festival (Istanbul, 2023); Best Feature Script/Screenplay, Great Oman Independent Film Festival (Oman, 2024); Gold Award Feature Script, Hollywood Gold Awards (USA, 2024); Best Crime Screenplay, International Film & Script Festival-Lotus (Greece, 2023); Best Feature Screenwriting, Medusa Film Festival (USA, 2023); Best Original Screenplay, New Cinema Festival (Buenos Aires, 2024); Best Feature Script, New York Movie Awards (USA, 2024); Best Feature Screenplay Honorable Mention, New York Screenwriting Awards (Summer 2023); Best Screenplay, Tibriz Cinema Awards (Iran, 2023); Best Unproduced Drama Screenplay, US Motion Picture Alliance (USA, 2023); Best Screenplay, Washington Film Awards (December 2023); Feature Script Outstanding Achievement, World Film Carnival (Singapore, 2023); Best Feature Script, Bab Al Bahrain (2024). And a variety of Official Selections.

A separate rewrite with input from producer Robert Mitas, who has long worked with actor/producer Michael Douglas, added three additional recognitions to the story. It is a shorter, tighter screenplay, but it's not the same story and not as true to what happened as the longer, original version that has been worked on with help from Robert, as well as screenplay consultants like Jen Grisanti.

Why not a Book?

Maybe. A screenplay is the compressed form. It does what screenplays do: it moves. But the story underneath it is larger than any two-hour film. As Danny Baker said, it could easily be a prestige series in the FX, Netflix, or HBO formats.

The documented Carbone enterprise. The FBI operation. The Janovic conviction. The Seattle connection. The young man who grew up in the Pacific Northwest, trained in martial arts since childhood, earned his letter in riflery three years running, flew search and rescue missions with Civil Air Patrol, and walked into a week that no one in his life knew about for the next fifty years.

And Sara. Who she was. Where she went. What the Carbone network's reach actually meant for a woman trying to disappear in 1974.

That's a book. Narrative nonfiction true crime with the court records to back it up, a living primary source who has never told the full story, and an ending that the screenplay only hints at.

The story is documented. The witness is available. The work is already begun.


The Teenage Bodyguard screenplay is represented by its screenwriter, JZ Murdock. Robert Mitas and a UK producer/director, are available when this project begins to move forward.

Inquiries welcome.

Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!


JZ Murdock is a retired Senior Technical Writer/IT administrator, and an active award-winning author/filmmaker, documentarian, and writer based in Bremerton, Washington.

He publishes commentary on the state of things at murdockinations.com and on his creative works over at Substack. He also posts on Slasher.com on the horror genre.

If this work means something to you, you can support it at Ko-fi. Tips are always welcome and go directly toward keeping independent documentary work possible.

Monday, May 4, 2026

Two Moments That Changed How I See Authority

There are experiences that don't announce themselves as formative while they're happening. You don't feel the ground shift. You just notice, months or years later, that you are standing somewhere different than you were before -- and you trace it back.

Two things happened to me in the late 1970s at Fairchild Air Force Base in Spokane, Washington that I have written about separately over the years. A book I couldn't finish. A church I couldn't get out of fast enough. I've been thinking lately that they belong together, because they were teaching me the same lesson from opposite directions.


The Book

Picture the young man who would read that memoir.

I was a parachute rigger in the Strategic Air Command, working with B-52 bombers at a nuclear alert base in Spokane, WA. Fairchild AFB. I had a secret security clearance. I also had the longest hair on the base -- kept in something approaching regulation shape by a daily application of Dippity-Do hair gel, worn under my service cap until I got home and showered, mostly to wash off the JP-4 jet exhaust from packing drag chutes all day, partly to get my hair back to something resembling human. That annoyed my friends to no end as they had gotten $50 ticket for hair out of regs and had to -- and this really annoyed them -- pay for the haircut. 

To put this in perspective, I got awards for my work in the survival equipment shop, the parachute shop, which came with a three-day pass (not attached to the weekend -- WHY?), I received a Good Conduct medal. I wasn't a rabble rouser, but I questioned authority. At least internally. I got away with a lot. How? I read the manual. Literally. I knew what I could get away with and how far to go. When questioned, I'd state the regs and, I was always right (or I wouldn't do whatever it was). 

Think, when higher ups give you grief, and you say, "Fine, I'm packing these chutes 100% by the T.O." Technical Manual, which they knew would take forever. I wasn't a wise guy. I had a sense of humor, I was likeable. I made other people look good. I played the game. I think when I got out of the service, it broke our Shop Sergeant's heart, seriously. He told me he saw me as a son. I miss the guy. But I wasn't staying in. I got out and went to college.

When I turned twenty-one I bought my first legal handgun -- a Walther PPK/S .380, from a department store in Spokane. Great firearm. I'd had a .357 Magnum since I was eighteen, acquired from a friend in circumstances that were not exactly textbook legal (see The Teenage Bodyguard, an award winning screenplay). But the Walther was mine -- properly. The older gentleman in a suit looked at me across the store counter at -- a young guy, hair tool long for regs -- and said he didn't believe I was actually in the service. I showed him my USAF ID with security clearance. He said, "Okay, I believe you. But, how--? He spent a moment marveling at the hair while he completed the paperwork.

That was who picked up Westmoreland's book. Not a naive kid. Not a credentialed analyst. A young man who read the newspaper, watched the evening news, carried a concealed weapon legally, worked with nuclear weapons delivery systems, and had been listening for years to his older brother's friends -- seven years his senior -- who had come back from Vietnam with stories that often bore little resemblance to official accounts. 

Not My Lai level atrocities, but close enough to the edges of things to make a person skeptical. The Pentagon Papers had been public for several years by then. I hadn't read them cover to cover, but I had absorbed what they meant: that military leadership had been systematically misrepresenting the war to the American public while privately knowing better.

So, when I picked up General William Westmoreland's memoir when it came out, A Soldier Reports (Doubleday, 1976), I came to it with genuine respect. He was the commander of U.S. forces in Vietnam from 1964 to 1968. Whatever you thought of the war, the man had carried an enormous burden. I gave him every benefit of the doubt a young reader could give.

I signed up Vietnam era service. Delayed enlistment until there was a job opening for Law Enforcement. September 1975. That summer the war ended. I got all the war benefits on the G.I. Bill but they eventually recategorized me, Post Vietnam Era. 

So I got into Westmorland's book. And for a while, it worked. He wrote with authority and precision. He knew things I didn't. He was, by any measure, a subject matter expert.

But somewhere somewhere around the midway point, something shifted. The book began to construct a world I didn't recognize.

Westmoreland's argument, laid out with great confidence and considerable detail, was essentially this: the military had a sound strategy; the war was winnable; what went wrong was the failure of civilian leadership, the interference of politicians, the distortions of the press, and the damage done by the antiwar movement. 

The military, he contended, had been betrayed from within and from without. Victory had been stolen.

I remember the feeling of reading that and thinking: but I was there for this. Not in Vietnam -- but alive, paying attention, reading the news, talking to guys who just came back from there, mostly -- messed up guys. I knew about the body count metrics that Westmoreland had built his entire strategy around, already widely exposed as manipulated and strategically meaningless. I knew that the same Pentagon Papers documenting civilian failures also documented military leadership providing falsely optimistic assessments to Washington while privately knowing the picture was far darker. I knew what those B-52s I worked with had been doing over North Vietnam and Cambodia. I knew the guys who had worked on them other there. I worked with them every day.

Westmoreland wasn't lying in the way a con artist lies. I don't think he was cynical. I think he genuinely believed his version. That was almost scarier. He had taken the enormous complexity of a failed war -- a war with deep strategic contradictions, moral catastrophes, and institutional failures at every level -- and recast it as a story in which he and the military were the heroes, and everyone else was the villain. He hadn't written history. 

He had written mythology, dressed in the uniform of history.

I didn't have a word for it then. I do now. It's the stab-in-the-back thesis -- the same narrative structure that German militarists used after World War I, blaming civilian betrayal for military defeat, which fed directly into the conditions that produced Nazism. Applied to Vietnam, it became the founding myth of a certain kind of American right-wing grievance politics that is still very much with us.

What I knew, in my bones, before I had any of that language, was simpler: this doesn't add up, and he's asking me to forget what I already know in order to accept it. I wondered about the leadership above me at the time in the service, who were the same guys who were in Vietnam.

I put the book down.

That was when I discovered a theory. Conspiracy theory. Now when you have a theory of a group doing something unknown openly, and they are doing something bad, it may well be a conspiracy. They happen. Usually, they are uncovered for a variety of reason. One I noticed in the military. It doesn't run perfect, except through a lot of effort and determination. That's doing good things. If those were bad things? Different animal altogether. 

THAT'S what the conspiracy theorists of today don't seem to comprehend.

I started studying not the conspiracy itself, but the nature of conspiracy thinking. Rather than diving into Westmoreland's specific claims and trying to refute them one by one -- which is the rabbit hole -- I started asking: how does this kind of argument work? What are the structural features that tell you something has gone from analysis to mythology? My older brother, encountering the same kind of thing, tended to defer to the expert. I went the other direction. Trust but verify. I became interested in the architecture of false certainty. 

Also, it explains a lot about how I think. How I later ended up at university getting a psychology degree as what my department advisor professor had said (and I questioned him on this, but he thought about it and said that, yes, he was sure), I was one of the top psychology undergrads at any university in the nation. Damn. I mean, cool.

Anyway, that mental divergence has shaped everything I've written about politics since.


The Church

About a year or two after I set down Westmoreland's book, I was at the base gym as my friend in the shop with me and I did daily. One day racquetball. Next day, weightroom. We'd gotten friendly with the equipment room attendant over borrowing equipment from the gym (don't remember now, what?) -- the usual slow accumulation of gym friendship, guy talk, nothing remarkable. We made one another laugh. He seemed, cool. Normal. Mostly was.

Then one day he asked if I wanted to come to his church. He said I could bring my wife. My friend could come too (he begged off immediately). He also said later, I could bring my gun.

That last part was odd enough that I decided to actually bring it, obviously to carry concealed -- the Walther PPK/S -- which I was legally entitled to do. Something about the invitation had put me on alert without quite articulating why. Go to church -- with a gun. Not the old Slovak Catholic church I had grown up going to, had been head altar boy at. 

He picked us up at my house and drove us out of Spokane on a Sunday morning, his wife with him, my wife and me in the back of his, what passed back then for an SUV. We crossed the state line into Idaho. I got nervous and asked about it. He said not to worry -- no concealed carry permit required in Idaho, and where we were going it wouldn't be an issue. Crossing the state line was only peripherally on my mind, why were we leaving the STATE?

But still. I held a secret security clearance. I worked with nuclear weapons delivery systems. I was crossing a state line carrying a weapon, heading to an unknown location. The math on that was not comfortable. Being in the service changes things legally for a military person. Breaking any law with a secret clearance is worse, with nuclear weapons clearance, much worse. he didn't have that. It never occurred to me about that disparity, honestly, until right now -- as I write this.

The compound was in the hills of Idaho. Locked gate. He had to call on a phone out of a box by the gate. Someone came down, unlocked the gate, let us drive and, locked the gate, and followed us up. We saw a traditional church with a steeple. A well in the center of the property. Several men in grey uniforms designed to look just different enough from Nazi uniforms that you technically couldn't call them Nazi uniforms -- except for the salute, which was identical. When I noted the resemblance, they were offended. "We're not Nazis!" (no, neo-Nazis, maybe)

The name of the organization was the Church of Our American Christian Heritage. I'll never forget it. I have since learned to treat any church name containing the words "American" or "Heritage" as a yellow flag. A church that has all the answers is another. I'm reminded of the last episode of The Boys, on Amazon Prime, where head sociopathic superhero Homelander has gone off the deep end and started the "Democratic Church of America." With Homelander himself as head, not as leader, literally as -- God.

But I digress... 

Their national leader had come up from Georgia specifically to speak that Sunday. He didn't know my wife and I were there as complete outsiders. Newbies. He didn't filter himself. He let loose -- a full accounting of their beliefs, their grievances, their vision of a purified nation, their contempt for nonwhites, their specific disgust at Vancouver, B.C., which apparently represented for him a kind of living offense against nature and civilization. The old ladies of the congregation were the most virulent true believers in the room.

Let me be clear about Vancouver, British  Columbie, Canada. I've been there and Victoria, on Vancouver Island since I was a kid, with my family. I love it there. Love Canada, like a cousin, or a brother even. I was OFFENDED, right off. 

My wife spent the entire service sitting close to me, gripping my sleeve hard enough to nearly tear it from the shoulder, occasionally leaning close to whisper urgently: Get us out of here. 

I heard my sleeve rip twice by the shoulder seam. Once in church, once as we were headed out of church.

The older woman in the back surrounded us and oh my God, I'd never met old people, anyone that racist. The national leader came up and introduced himself. Big smile. He apologized for cutting loose like that. He was just told we were new. 

I smiled and shook his hand and said, "No, I'm glad you did. Good to hear exactly what you believe." I braced myself for his reading my meaning, if not sarcasm. I mean, I was being honest. The next second was interminable. Then he broke into a huge smile (it worked). He had decided he liked us a LOT.

We got out as soon as we could. Services were over. We all made out goodbyes, and my "friend" drove us home. We made small talk along the way, did all we could to keep him and his wife at ease -- he talked about getting together again. He dropped us at home and drove off smiling and waving. 

The next day I considered reporting him and his group to the base authorities. They needed to know about this. I told my racquetball friend in the shop that day. He said he'd drop by after work at my house. 

When he stopped by that afternoon, he had thought about it. He got me alone and talked to me about what he had come up with. He did his best to talk me out of telling anyone on base anything. I wasn't having it. 

Until. He pointed something out, reasonably and chillingly. "They picked you guys up here yesterday morning?" "Yes." "They dropped you off -- here." "Yes." "So Those people know exactly where you both live. And when your wife would be home alone?" "Uh, yeah..."

I never went back to that window at the gym to get equipment. Neither did he. From then on, we brought our own. We never spoke to him again. Not long after, we noticed he wasn't around the gym anymore and we wondered about that, for a very long time.


What They Had In Common

It was a general construction of an alternate history -- of a war. They were a quasi-military white nationalist congregation in the Idaho hills. On the surface, very different things.

But the underlying structure was identical.

Both were communities of people who had taken real grievances -- about the war, about social change, about lost certainty -- and converted them into a sealed explanatory system that could not be falsified. In both cases, the complexity of the actual world had been replaced by a story with clear heroes and villains. In both cases, outside information was not evidence to be weighed -- it was enemy propaganda to be rejected. In both cases, belonging to the group meant accepting the story, and the story protected the group from reality.

The difference was one of degree, not of kind.

Westmoreland's version was respectable, credentialed, published by Doubleday, reviewed in major newspapers. The Idaho congregation's version came with grey uniforms and a compound with a well and a sheriff who wouldn't come onto the property. They passed newsletters about their grievances; there was no internet back then to help a subculture such as they were explode upon the American psyche. 

But they were running the same cognitive operating system. Wounded certainty, calcified into mythology, defended against all comers.

I didn't know then that I was watching the seedbed of what would eventually become the American political landscape of the 2010s and 2020s. The stab-in-the-back Vietnam narrative fed directly into a politics of grievance and betrayal that never fully went away. The Christian nationalist militia movements of the inland Northwest were not anomalies -- they were early iterations of something that would eventually find mainstream political expression. 

I didn't know at the time about the confederates who after the Civil War had migrated up to the Pacific Northwest and made a new home free of the government for the most part in the east of Oregan, the east of Washington state, and in Idaho. Especially in the back hills, the back roads, the roads less travelled certainly by government officials. 

My late older right wing MaGA brother now gone about a month (miss ya big guy, sad as our interactions were this last decade of the Trump infection), had moved years ago to Home, across Puget Sound via the Narrows Bridge, the other side of Highway 16 from Gig Harbor. It's a community on the Key Peninsula and borders the waters of Carr Inlet, an extension of Puget Sound.

He had told me that those citizens who had enough of the "bullshit of Tacoma government" had moved there and called it "Home" because it wasn't Tacoma, it was, home.

What protected me about this kind of mind worm dynamic, I think, was not superior intelligence or education -- I was a young enlisted man without a college degree, smelling of JP-4 jet fuel exhaust by mid-morning after packing B-52 drag chutes, with my longish hair shellacked under my service cap, "white walls" of shaved skin surrounding my ears to put on a good show for the annoying "lifers", but not so much the "career enlisted" (who we differentiated, as they were just trying to get through to retire one day but not thoroughly "ate up" like some old codgers were). 

What protected me was a combination of things: a grandmother who taught me that books demanded honesty, and to finish one when you started it; an older brother's friends who told me what Vietnam actually looked like from the ground; a willingness to trust my own perception when it told me something didn't add up; and the crucial decision to study the form of bad thinking rather than just the content of any specific claim.

You cannot fact-check your way out of a mythology. The mythology has already inoculated its believers against facts. 

What you can do is recognize the architecture -- the sealed system, the designated enemy, the unfalsifiable narrative, the group that has all the answers -- and decline to enter.

I learned that from a book I couldn't finish and a church I couldn't leave fast enough.

Both were trying to sell me a story in exchange for my grip on reality.

I kept the grip.


Related posts: - A Book I Couldn't Finish – And How It Taught Me About Truth, Authority, and Conspiracy Thinking (January 2026) - Church and Guns (May 2016) - Conspiracy Theories – Incompetence More Than Insight? (April 2014) - America's Dezinformatsiya and компрометирующий (August 2019)


Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!

JZ Murdock is a filmmaker and author based in Bremerton, Washington. His novel Death of Heaven was honored with the New York City Big Book Award for Horror. His film Pvt. Ravel's Bolero has been lauded worldwide with many international festival awards. The film companion book is forthcoming.

If this work means something to you, you can support it at Ko-fi.

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

The Fog, the Blues, and the Wedding

The uniform fades, the memory doesn’t. The war ends, but the echoes remain.

On Veterans Day, we remember the courage it took to serve...and the grace it takes to keep living beyond it. 

For those who served during war, or peacetime...every act of service carries a story. Some told. Many silent.

Veterans Day reminds us that freedom isn’t just defended in battle, but in the lives lived honorably after.

Have a very pleasant Veteran's Day!

TODAY, THIS VETERANS DAY -

Vets Say No - stand with vets and take action against corruption and tyranny.

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December 1975: An Airman’s Journey Home Through Chaos and Kindness

I guess you can call this a kind of upbeat blog today. I could say, talk about the three deaths we had on base during my time there, or more just before I arrived, and many other things, but being Veterans Day, I'd like to keep things lighter for a change.

It was late December 1975 when our bus full of airmen and airwomen rolled out of Rantoul, Illinois, heading north to O’Hare for the holidays. I was fresh out of tech school at Chanute AFB, wearing my Air Force dress blues like we’d been told to. Most didn’t. They laughed at us who did, calling us uptight or old-fashioned, but regulations were regulations. I’d been raised to follow orders and respect the uniform, even if it made me stand out.

We hadn’t gone far when the bus slowed on an on-ramp. A small car had slid into the grassy center of the cloverleaf. Someone grumbled that we’d miss our flights, but the driver said it was illegal for him not to help. That was that. A few of us said, “Then let’s get it done,” and we piled out into the cold, breath steaming in the frozen air, pushing the car free before scrambling back aboard. Just another moment of teamwork among strangers—routine for the military, but it would set the tone for what was to come.


O’Hare in Chaos

When we reached O’Hare, I was stunned. I’d traveled before—Spain when I was three, family trips to the coasts—but I’d never seen anything like that terminal. Luggage was everywhere, long lines coming from the check in agents into the walkway in double lines, up against the walls. Passengers sat or slept on their suitcases, with lines stretching into every corridor. 

The loudspeakers droned on with the same message: 

Flights delayed or canceled due to fog on the West Coast.

I didn’t know it then, but a massive fog system had shut down Seattle–Tacoma International Airport for nearly two days, grounding thousands. NOAA’s report for December 22, 1975, would later note: “Dense fog for about 36 hours caused delays and cancellations for an estimated 20,000 passengers.”

The ripple effect reached all the way back to Chicago, where westbound flights were simply stacking up with nowhere to go.

When the airline finally handed out hotel vouchers, I took one and spent the night near the airport, restless and anxious. I was supposed to be getting married in a day or two, and all I could think about was getting home.


Winnipeg: One Degree and Nowhere to Go

The next morning, a flight opened—not to Seattle, but to Winnipeg. I grabbed it. At least it was west.

When the plane landed, the air hit me like a slap: one degree Fahrenheit, dry and cutting. My short military haircut offered no protection. The airport was quiet, frozen in both weather and schedule. There were no flights moving west.

I needed money, so I took a taxi into downtown Winnipeg. The streets were deserted, snow glowing under streetlamps, the kind of cold that hums in your bones. I stood there on a side street, lost and unsure what to do, when a Black man in a leather coat walked up and asked what I was doing.

I was wary—this was unfamiliar territory—but he said he’d been Air Force too, once stranded just like me. “You shouldn’t be standing here,” he said. “Not safe. Come on, I’ll take you somewhere you can use a phone.”

I hesitated, but something about him felt steady. I followed. He took me to a hotel, warm and bustling with guests in the lobby. He pointed to the phone booths, said I’d be okay now, and went upstairs. That was it. No agenda, no catch. Just a stranger helping another serviceman.

I called, got oriented, found a business that could advance me funds, and took a cab back to the airport—grateful and a little shaken by how easily kindness can find you when you least expect it.


The Boy at the Gate

Back at the terminal, two seats opened on a flight to Vancouver. I’d been talking to a teenage boy earlier, both of us stranded and tired. I managed to grab one of the seats and told him. He asked if I’d bought the other for him. I said no—didn’t even think to.

His expression changed; he said he would have paid me back, and before I could explain, he rushed off to try for the other ticket. It was gone. I apologized, but he was too hurt, and I never saw him again.

Even now, I still think about that moment. I wasn’t trying to be selfish—I was just exhausted, desperate, focused entirely on getting home to get married. But it stays with me, that small failure to look beyond my own fatigue.


The Road Home

When I finally landed in Vancouver, my parents had driven up with my fiancée to meet me. The fog that had shut down Sea-Tac still blanketed the entire region. On I-5, visibility was so poor that we could barely see the taillights ahead. My parents drove painfully slow, crawling north through the gray. I lay in the back seat with my head on my fiancée’s lap, unable to sleep but too tired to talk.

I got about five hours of sleep that night before the wedding. My brother later said he thought it was funny that I looked like I was standing at attention during the ceremony—which was fair. I was so used to military posture, and so tired, that I probably was.

After the wedding, my new wife and I drove north through that same fog to Harrison Hot Springs for our honeymoon. Around two in the morning, I found myself stopped at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere—fog so thick I couldn’t see twenty feet in any direction. I got out, stood in the cold silence, picked a direction, and drove on. Within minutes, the lights of the resort glowed faintly through the mist, like a promise kept.

It was sad leaving her a few days later to fly back to Chanute for the rest of tech school. But she joined me soon after, flying out so we could live off-base together. That got me out of the barracks—every one of which was its own kind of zoo—and into a small life of our own.


After the Fog

Looking back, that week in December 1975 feels like a condensed lifetime: confusion, exhaustion, small acts of kindness, and the strange luck that guides you home.

There was the car stuck in the cloverleaf, the laughter of young airmen pushing it free in the cold. The stranger in Winnipeg who helped me without question. The boy at the airport whose disappointment I still carry. The endless fog, and the lights of Harrison breaking through it at last.

I left Rantoul as a rule-following airman in dress blues and came home a married man—slightly older physically, but emotionally humbled, and a little wiser. The fog had lifted, but I never forgot how it felt to move through it, uncertain yet still moving forward, trusting that somewhere ahead, the light was waiting.

Allow me to end with this, about today...

One thing that’s changed since my Air Force days: we used to fix our own equipment.

We had the manuals, the parts, and the know-how — because the military owned the intellectual property.

Today, we often don’t.

Contractors hold the rights, so we have to pay them to fix what we used to handle ourselves.

That loss of technical ownership means higher costs, longer downtimes, and fewer skilled hands in uniform.

We’ve traded self-reliance for dependence — and that’s a dangerous trade in any fight.

But do have a happy Veterans Day!


Cheers! Sláinte! Na zdravie!