Showing posts with label existentialism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label existentialism. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Echoes in the Temple: Thought, Deity, and the Hollow Mind

It struck me—like a whisper sliding through the ribs of silence—we don’t just have thoughts. We hear them. As if something is speaking in that cavern behind our eyes. Our own voice, yes, but distant. Not quite tethered. Like it came from a room down the hall that shouldn’t exist.


That alone might explain God.

Not the God of stained glass and parental commandments. I mean the idea—older than names, older than fire—of something vast and watching. The invisible presence in the trees, in the dark, in the folds of our own breath. We think we looked out and found God. But what if the first real encounter was inward? What if the divine began not in the heavens but in the hollow theater of the human skull?

Because if you sit long enough with your own mind, if you listen without distraction, the space inside doesn’t feel small. It expands. It echoes. It responds. We tell ourselves this is normal—this inner narrator, this unseen scribe. But anyone with even a cracked sense of self knows how strange it really is. Thoughts appear fully formed, dressed in voice and timing. Insights arrive like gifts from behind the curtain. Sometimes they shout. Sometimes they whisper. Sometimes they warn.

That eerie duality—of being both the speaker and the spoken-to—might be the oldest haunting we know. Before we carved gods into stone or sketched stars into myths, we already had a voice in our heads. It wasn’t always kind. It wasn’t always sane. But it was there. And when the dark pressed in at the edges of the firelight, what else could it have been but something more?

Maybe that was the first altar: the quiet inner chamber of thought, echoing with something too complex, too alien to be merely "me."

It’s not hard to see the roots of cosmic horror in that. The unknowable pressing in—not from galaxies far beyond, but from within the skull. A presence that isn’t separate from us, but generated by us. Or worse, residing in us. An invader mistaken for a conscience. A parasite that speaks in familiar tones. The divine not as savior, but as stowaway.

Perhaps God was never in the sky. Perhaps the real abyss is between our thoughts.

And many of us have been praying into it ever since.

But perhaps there are no gods at all—only the mind, inventing echoes to fill the silence. Maybe the divine is merely the byproduct of our terror at being alone in the dark. Something banal, draped in the sacred. Something hollow we mistook for holy, going all the way back to when we clung to branches in the blackness of a moonless night, staring into the void between trees and praying—not that something was out there, but that if there was, it meant us no harm.

Much of this line of thought has echoed through my own writing in speculative fiction and horror. The idea that what we fear most might not be what lies beyond us, but what originates within—that the divine, the monstrous, and the imagined might all share a single root in the architecture of our minds.

It's a rich, unsettling territory I've returned to again and again: the hollow space we fill with gods, ghosts, and meaning, just to silence the echo.


Compiled with aid of ChatGPT

Monday, May 8, 2017

America's Existential President

ex·is·ten·tial·ism
ˌeɡzəˈsten(t)SHəˌlizəm/
noun
a philosophical theory or approach that emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.

phe·nom·e·nol·o·gy
fəˌnäməˈnäləjē/
noun [PHILOSOPHY]
the science of phenomena as distinct from that of the nature of being.
an approach that concentrates on the study of consciousness and the objects of direct experience.

When I was getting my degree in psychology from Western Washington University, I began to notice two things.

Of my fellow students, there were some who went the existential path and others, fewer (and I was one) who went the phenomenological path. We were all similar, but with an important difference. Myself and my phenomenological friends were observers. The existentialists wanted to affect things, to put their imprint upon it. And this is important if it pleased them. And they had many rationales for that. I was surprised they couldn't see it, no matter how much I (we) tried to explain that orientation to them.

My girlfriend and I lived together through our college years, and took many of the same classes. We studied together. We finished each other's sentences to an absurd degree that caused our professor one day in class to stop us and make us prove we were actually saying something. We were. He was stunned, because we were carrying on a conversation in paragraphs by using single words.

The first thing I noticed was that those who went the existential path, leaned toward a more hedonistic view of life. The second was, my girlfriend was heading down that path.

So what?

What I started to notice was those who took the existential path seemed to be using it to justify their doing whatever they wanted. They were the ones who were having affairs, who were stepping out on their significant others. The phenomenology students seemed to be more centered, more socially responsible (both groups were, but the latter seemed to put themselves forward as a primary element).

Once I started to notice that, I noticed how self-oriented the existential people's arguments were. Sometimes to the point of invalidating their arguments. I liked hedonistic pursuits as much as the next person, I just wouldn't put my own desires or needs before that of others, if those others might suffer for my actions.

I wasn't seeing that in the existential crowd. They were simply narcissists of varying degrees. Yes, college is that time to be that way. To test limits, to experience the novel situation and environments. It is something however that you should resolve before you are into your mid twenties, or your twenties overall. It is not something we should be seeing in your 60s or 70s.

I should have seen it coming. I never went out on my girlfriend. But in the end, after we graduated college, after we moved back home into a house together, I discovered she was having an affair with a coworker. That ended our many year relationship. I took it hard and it literally nearly killed me over that next eighteen-month period.

And yes, in the end, after it passed, after I survived it, I was much stronger for it. I just had never had a girlfriend (or wife) have an affair on me. Or for that matter, break up with me. I was thirty when this happened and I simply had no coping mechanisms to deal with that kind of thing. So I partied myself nearly to death. Slept around. Kind of went off the deep end.

I'm seeing now so much of all this in our current president. In my experience, this isn't a good thing. Because no one is as important, as that individual, to that individual. We are at the whim of what he wants, what pleases him. At our expense, because we simply do not count. Unless it affects him.

Obviously, this isn't true of all existentialists. But it certainly is true about Pres. Donald J. Trump. I also notice this in many Republicans. Though those who are beginning now to oppose him, simply aren't as much the narcissist as he is.

Since a stopped clock is always correct twice a day, every day of the week, 24/7/365, Pres. Trump will surely do some things that are good for us. It's inevitable. However, I do not expect great things to come of a Trump presidency. Far from it.

The concept of existentialism can be intoxicating
phenomenology to me, just seemed more mature, enlightened.
A coherent and educated individual, observing.

Allow me to leave you with this....Fascism.